Stop making this 'off-putting' mistake when you talk to people: 'It backfires,' says psychologist
Effective communication is a fundamental aspect of building and maintaining relationships, both personal and professional. However, many individuals unknowingly make mistakes that can hinder their ability to connect with others. According to psychologist Tessa West, one common mistake can be particularly off-putting and may backfire in social interactions.
The Rise of AI Companions
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the use of AI companions to help navigate complex human relationships. Between 2022 and mid-2025, the number of AI companion apps surged by 700%. Surveys indicate that around 70% of Gen Z individuals rely on AI to manage workplace conflicts, and approximately half use it in their dating lives, even for difficult tasks such as breaking up with someone.
The appeal of AI companions lies in their ability to simulate human connection. They provide responses that appear empathic, nonjudgmental, and validating. Unlike human confidants, who may zone out during lengthy discussions, AI companions tend to become increasingly positive over time. However, social scientists have identified hidden costs associated with relying on AI in difficult interactions.
Understanding the Costs of AI in Communication
While AI can be a helpful tool, it is essential to recognize its limitations. Here are some of the potential downsides:
1. AI Can Foster Overconfidence
Many users of AI companions report feeling more confident and validated after discussing their issues with the technology. For instance, 44% of Gen Z employees using AI for workplace conflict resolution stated they felt more confident in their perspective, while 38% felt more validated. However, this confidence can be misleading.
AI companions often reinforce users’ biased beliefs without prompting them to consider alternative viewpoints. For example, if an employee describes their boss as “micromanaging,” the AI might validate this perspective without encouraging the user to explore the situation from the boss’s viewpoint.
What to Do: When using AI, try to frame your questions from a third-party perspective. For example, instead of saying, “My boss is micromanaging me,” you could ask, “An employee requested time off, but the boss denied it. What advice would you give the employee?” This approach encourages a more balanced analysis of the situation.
2. AI Advice May Be Too General
AI systems are trained on vast amounts of data, which can lead users to perceive them as objective and unbiased. However, the advice provided is often too general and may not address the specific nuances of a situation.
Human advisors, on the other hand, can offer insights based on personal experience and contextual knowledge. AI companions may provide pleasant, generic advice that feels good but fails to resolve the actual problem.
What to Do: Always complement AI-generated advice with insights from real people who understand the context of your situation. Seek feedback from those who have firsthand experience with the individuals and environment involved.
3. AI Can Diminish Your Unique Voice
As individuals increasingly rely on AI for communication—whether it’s crafting emails, responding to messages, or creating profiles—they risk losing their unique voice. AI-generated content often lacks emotional depth and can result in a repetitive style that does not reflect the user’s personality.
What to Do: Use AI as a tool for inspiration but ensure that your authentic voice remains present in your communications. Engage in conversations without relying solely on AI-generated responses to maintain your interpersonal skills.
4. The Perception of AI Use Can Backfire
While AI tools can enhance communication speed and positivity, there is a significant downside: if people suspect that you are using AI in your conversations, they may evaluate you negatively. The perception that someone is outsourcing their communication to an algorithm can be off-putting and create distance in relationships.
What to Do: Strive to handle as much personal communication as possible on your own. Relying too heavily on AI can irritate those you are interacting with and may hinder the development of your interpersonal skills.
Conclusion
In a world increasingly influenced by technology, it is vital to remain mindful of how we communicate with others. While AI can serve as a helpful resource, it is essential to recognize its limitations and the potential pitfalls of over-reliance. By fostering genuine connections and maintaining our unique voices, we can navigate interpersonal relationships more effectively.
Note: This article is based on insights from psychologist Tessa West, who specializes in interpersonal conflict resolution and has authored works on workplace dynamics.
